Where are the bad boys of Hollywood?  All we hear about is Britney, Lindsey, and the queen of useless whores, Paris Hilton.  Where are the boys who regularly broke the law, broke windows in hotels, and broke paparazzi lenses?  Where I ask you?

Robert Downey Jr. is sober and boring.  Sean Penn is saving people in
New Orleans instead of beating the shit out of paparazzi.  Collin Farrell isn’t dating Hollywood starlets, but instead asking out the little Latina girl at the In-N-Out Burger window after buying his child a happy meal.  Even Russell Crowe hasn’t thrown a phone or punched someone in months and months.

It reminds me of having a bunch of tom cats and suddenly the humane society pulls up and traps them all, neuters them and then releases them back to the alley where they just lay around and think about what bad asses they used to be.

So who do we turn to now boys?  Will Ryan Phillippe proposition a transvestite hooker?  How about Josh Hartnett beating the shit out of a fan for making fun of him always being shirtless in his movies?  Maybe Toby McGuire can do 100 mph in a school zone??? 

Come on boys…..take your balls out of your purse and sack up!

I am tired of reading about these girls.  Bad Boys, where are you?

I was thinking today about Anna Nicole and what her will must say and it got me thinking about my will.  I don’t have one, but I guess I should.  Obviously I would leave everything to my daughter, but what if we were both gone, who would my assets go to?

I really don’t feel any family member deserves my money and property.  Yes there are a friend or two who I would leave a few thousand to just to let them know I thought about them, but what about the rest of the money?

I have come up with the answer.  Random celebrities!  I will leave $10,000 to Larry David for making me laugh.  $10,000 to Robert DiNiro, because I like his acting.  $10,000 to Chris Rock for the best live comedy concert I ever attended.  $10,000 to Matt and Trey for making South Park.  $10,000 to Michael Jackson, who I still like to dance to.

My list will go and on and on, but you get the idea.

Also, think how cool it will be when my lawyer contacts their agents and says, “My client Pat Sue Gentry has left your client $10,000 in her will.”  Imagine the surprise and confusion of that random celebrity.  I am going to contact a lawyer right now and work on this.

Hostile Town Folk

Have you ever been so angry or disappointed with a person, a company, a political party, family member or a religious group that you wish you could go out a rent a group of Hostile Town Folk to walk with you through the streets, holding blazing torches, farm tools, and sticks, chanting disparages chants about what or who pissed you off.

Well my friends, Hostile Town Folk is here for you in cyber world, and if things get bad enough, we may rally with the above mentioned items in hand and come to your streets. However this would have to constitute a problem of biblical proportions, because Hostile Town Folk can be pretty lazy in this century.

So here you have it…a place to vent. This is where the angry blogger comes to let other hostile town folk know what really pissed them off today.

The good news, it won’t just come in your email from a friend who needs to vent. No, this will be the place for hate and anger. You will know when you come, that you will be in the “angry place” where you can rage to your hearts content and others with like anger, may someday read it also.

Here are a few things that may or may not piss you off on any given day, just incase you need a push:

Lack of customer service,
Shitty waitress,
Crazy evangelist,
Sneaky co-worker,
Mean boss,
Family members
Sick cat,
Dying plant,
Bad plumbing,
Incorrect billing
Comcast cable
Cell company providers
Weather
Bad fish
Old friends who changed for the worse
Skinny people
Bad haircuts
Banks
Politics
Religion

Torches lit, farm tools in hand….begin!

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I must be an awful person.  Not one friend sent me even a generic, blast email, Valentine wish.  None!  Zippo!

I didn’t expect flowers, candy, or anything of that sort, but an email would have been nice.  Perhaps I have not only burned some bridges behind me, but torpedoed them.  Even so, someone, some blast from the past, should have at least thought about it.  This confirms my worst fear.  I am now a real old bitty, cat lady, who lives alone and will die alone.  My cold dead body will be found after several days half eaten by cats.

Happy Valentine’s Day.